Message Received

I visited church with a friend this morning and heard something I so needed to hear, but didn't realize it.  The sermon was on the story of Peter stepping out of the boat and walking on the water with Jesus (that's an enormous paraphrase by the way - see Matt. Ch. 15 vs 22-33).

Anyway...the pastor was talking about how in life so many times people stay in the boat so to speak, but how some people actually take a chance and step out on faith and get out of the boat - no matter what the result may be.  Then he said that just by stepping out of the boat to begin with, we alter our future.

That caught my attention.  I love the story about Peter walking on the water to Jesus and it came to mean more to me when I first moved out to Los Angeles.  But after moving back to Texas...to make a long story short, I've struggled a lot with feeling like I took a leap of faith only to end up right back where I was to begin with, which is a place I couldn't stand to begin with (to be frank - and why mince words at this point?).

I never stopped to consider that, even if I can't see it right now, my future is not what it would have been had I not gone to California.  I knew I was different, that I'd come into my own if nothing else, but I don't think I'd considered that the future I would like to see is still possible.  And how I needed so much to hear that all was not lost.

It's interesting the way that God can prompt us to go somewhere, visit someone, or even check out a church at the exact moment when we're going to hear the sort of reassurance our soul is longing for the most.

The other thing this morning got me to thinking about is taking risks...

Sometimes we are called upon to look at our life - maybe a specific situation or just in general - and assess what (& occasionally who) we have in our life and if the "what" or "who" fits with who we want to be - or maybe more specifically who you know deep in your soul that you are despite your current situation.

Perhaps sometimes we are not simply called to step out of the boat.  Perhaps we are called to jump ship when it's really a choice of thriving or drowning.

Just a thought.

-Lisa

Blessed Assurance

Ever notice that doubts kind of creep up on you when you're really busy or pretty stressed about other things and all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a meltdown and you aren't quite sure how you got there?

I've been grappling with a little of that lately. Just about different things. What ifs and why nots I call them. I really figured this was brought on largely by the start of my last semester in grad school and the impending job search.

And actually, I thought I'd just about sorted everything out. I was feeling much better about things or at least I wasn't feeling noticeably "blue". Still...there was that little kind of "eh" feeling that I couldn't quite put my finger on that just didn't feel right.

I appear to be coming down with a slight cold so I stayed home today (all day) and dosed myself with Vitamin C & Zinc and otc meds. Since I'd decided to stay home I live-streamed this morning's message at the church I usually go to (http://www.oasisla.org/) and watched.

The series they've been doing is called I Heart LA. Today's message was I Heart LA City of Creativity.

Somewhere in the midst of this message the "eh" feeling broke. I realized that as thankful as I am for being in LA and as much as I try to focus on the positive...somewhere deep in the back of my mind there's a little part of me that's waiting for it to disappear.

I'm not sure why that is and I haven't the energy or mental space at the moment to begin to analyze such things. But this morning's message reminded me that God put me where I am for a reason - regardless of the surrounding circumstances. And that is something I can rest assured in.

Funny how sometimes God can send you a message you didn't even know you needed.

Just a thought.

-Lisa