Trouble

     "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart!  I have overcome the world." John 16:33

     I have been thinking about this verse a lot lately.  In this world you will have trouble.  I think most of my life when I've read this verse, I always thought of really big challenges in life.  Illness, maybe something tragic happening, big stuff...  Lately however, I've started thinking what if it's not just that at all?  What if trouble is also all the little things that drive us up the walls daily?  

     Have you ever found yourself trying to find a job or a soul mate or just trying to figure out what to do with your life and wondering why (at least some days) everything seems to be so difficult?  Like why can't you have a day, a week, a month or a year that just runs smoothly?  Or maybe you have had periods of time where it just felt like all the stars aligned and you're just trying to figure out how to get that back; and for the life of you, you can't figure out what you were doing differently at that time.    You only know you can't seem to duplicate it now.  

     But what if it's all these little things - repeatedly dealing with rejection in one form or another, struggling financially, always feeling like you're trying to get ahead - that are the "trouble" Jesus was speaking about in that verse?  That means all those irritants are always going to be around.  You may be thinking "Well that just sucks.  Where's the upside in that?"  And you'd be right it does suck.  But what He says next it what gives me hope - But take heart!  I have overcome the world.

     If you believe what The Old Testament says, then you believe mankind blew their chance at Heaven on earth when Adam and Eve were in the Garden.  If you look at it from that angle, we had a world without trouble and we gave it up.  So yes, trouble is an inevitable part of daily life.  But what Christ overcoming the world means is that our troubled state of living will not last forever - it is only temporary.  

     The way I am trying to look at that these days is all the stuff that drives me nuts (see the aforementioned attempts to get a career off the ground and find a soul mate) are always going to drive me a little nuts in one form or another.  All of the things I place so much importance on - particularly job stuff - aren't really going to matter in the long run.  The relationships we form with people, the way we treat each other, how we help one another, how we love each other the was Jesus loved us...those are the things that will echo through eternity.  So maybe that's where I should strive to shift my focus more instead of zeroing in on all the little things that make me feel like I'm losing it.

Just a thought.

-Lisa

Let it Go

There are some days when you get up and in the deepest part of your being you know it's going to be a rough one.  You have no idea what lies ahead of you, but something in your spirit is telling you to pause and consider calling in.  Every time I ignore that tug, I regret it.  So you would think by now I would have learned not to ignore it.

But sometimes the real challenge in that moment (I believe) is to acknowledge that urging and to step forward into your day anyway.

Now because of my personal beliefs, I feel it is in the midst of that uneasy feeling that God is whispering "Trust me.  I will not let you go."

As human beings it can be really easy in those moments when everything starts to go down hill at top speed, to beat ourselves up.

"Why didn't I stay home?"  "How could I have made such a stupid mistake?" "Why can't I seem to get it together?"  "What did I ever do to land myself here?"  Because nothing is going "the way that it's supposed to."

But we live in a broken world.  One that will never be perfect, no matter how hard we push for what's "supposed" to be.  That ended with Adam & Eve in the Garden and until the end of time as we know it, this is the struggle we will face.

I think about it a lot actually.  How we so easily get caught up in the way we know things should be.  And I believe there's a very good reason for that.  I think the way it was "supposed to be" is encoded in our DNA and if it wasn't, we might not understand the truth of our imperfection.  For we are imperfect creatures.

But we are also beautiful to God - even with our imperfections - so much so that He gave us Jesus.  The ultimate example of grace (getting what we do not deserve) and mercy (not getting what we do deserve).  And we are supposed to strive to be like Him.  To love like Him.

Which is of course impossible for us to ever reach that while we are in this flesh.  But it does not mean we don't try.  Because we should try to love like Him.

But back to "supposed to"...

In my own life I am at least three different kinds of NOT where I am "supposed to be".  And it drives me crazy.  I hate it.  In part because I spend a lot of time and energy futilely trying to fix it quickly.  But I am learning...

In the last three months I have begun to slow down.  To breathe in the space I am in.  And to attempt to move at a reasonable pace to where I would like to be.  Sometimes the only road ahead takes us back to a place where we don't want to be.  A place that feels like a step backwards.  But (at least in my case) once I stopped for a minute and considered that it's not a step backwards because it's not exactly the same.  I am not the same.

And that is important because it is a step toward understanding how to let go of "supposed to" and to move on to what "is".  Which lends value to the world around us; helps us appreciate the blessings in our lives today.  And that is a very good thing.

Just a thought.

-Lisa

Message Received

I visited church with a friend this morning and heard something I so needed to hear, but didn't realize it.  The sermon was on the story of Peter stepping out of the boat and walking on the water with Jesus (that's an enormous paraphrase by the way - see Matt. Ch. 15 vs 22-33).

Anyway...the pastor was talking about how in life so many times people stay in the boat so to speak, but how some people actually take a chance and step out on faith and get out of the boat - no matter what the result may be.  Then he said that just by stepping out of the boat to begin with, we alter our future.

That caught my attention.  I love the story about Peter walking on the water to Jesus and it came to mean more to me when I first moved out to Los Angeles.  But after moving back to Texas...to make a long story short, I've struggled a lot with feeling like I took a leap of faith only to end up right back where I was to begin with, which is a place I couldn't stand to begin with (to be frank - and why mince words at this point?).

I never stopped to consider that, even if I can't see it right now, my future is not what it would have been had I not gone to California.  I knew I was different, that I'd come into my own if nothing else, but I don't think I'd considered that the future I would like to see is still possible.  And how I needed so much to hear that all was not lost.

It's interesting the way that God can prompt us to go somewhere, visit someone, or even check out a church at the exact moment when we're going to hear the sort of reassurance our soul is longing for the most.

The other thing this morning got me to thinking about is taking risks...

Sometimes we are called upon to look at our life - maybe a specific situation or just in general - and assess what (& occasionally who) we have in our life and if the "what" or "who" fits with who we want to be - or maybe more specifically who you know deep in your soul that you are despite your current situation.

Perhaps sometimes we are not simply called to step out of the boat.  Perhaps we are called to jump ship when it's really a choice of thriving or drowning.

Just a thought.

-Lisa

Something Beautiful

I've experienced a kind of re-birth of hope lately.  And one that I have to believe has come from God because all of the outside signs point to the exact opposite.

My favorite verse is one that I've leaned on a lot over the past couple of years especially - Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."  Perhaps it's learning to lean on that trust that actually has helped with the peace I have.

But there's another verse I love - Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." and this verse has simultaneously given me peace and made me furrow my brow more than once.

The first time I heard this verse, or rather the first time it registered with me what it really said all I could think was really God? cause I can imagine an awful lot.  And I have admittedly had moments particularly over the last couple of years where that question changed to are you really sure? cause I'm not sure what to imagine anymore.

But lately, somehow, things have shifted and I have what I can only describe as a sense of possibility again. And that is beautiful.

Perhaps God brings us down rocky paths knowing we're going to ask those questions and knowing also that if we hang onto Him, we'll arrive at a place where peace comes from the one thing we need most at that time.

Just a thought.

-Lisa

On a Quiet Sunday Morning

I was having quiet time this morning, going back over some verses I'd highlighted in my Bible some time back. One of these, Psalm 5 - vs. 1-3 in particular - "Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing; Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."

There was a time in my life when I read this passage every morning before I prayed - it was a time when I was very, very unhappy with a lot in my life & someone dear to me recommended that I read Psalm 5 daily.

At some time, I presume the beginning of 2008, I made a note near the top of that chapter in my Bible that says "2008 - expectation is the goal for this year." Have I learned to expect? I think so...my heart still feels what you might call "gun shy" about it on occasion, but yes I think I have learned a lot about expecting when it comes to God - to His love & to the way He cares for us.

So what's next?

We had a guest speaker at the church I go to a few weeks ago & her message focused on this verse in Ephesians that I must have read before because I know I've read the book of Ephesians, but I somehow missed it - or missed the point of it because as she spoke about it...it was like a "wait...what? that's in there? that's not just something everyone tells you because it sounds nice???"

The verse is Ephesians 3:20-21 - "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (emphasis added by me - obviously)

This morning as I was re-reading these verses I couldn't help but think really? Beyond what I could ask? Beyond what I could imagine? At first I thought the issues I'd had with expecting were circling overhead planning to come back to bother me. So I started to pray about this verse specifically.

I've never lacked ability in the imagining department - ask any of my relatives who had to listen to the elaborate stories I would make up and tell them. I consider imagination to be one of our most valuable resources as humans. So as I began to pray all I could say at first was God I can imagine an awful lot. And it was as if I heard a voice say "would you have ever imagined being back in school?"

No. Not in a million years. Ever. School was at the bottom of the pile as far as plans - I went a long time feeling that I'd done my time (so to speak), I had a BA - what more could I possibly need.

And truth be told, while I'd wanted to be in California for quite a few years before moving, I would have never imagined being in Los Angeles. I liked northern California (as I happily told anyone who would listen to me for a good 3 or 4 years).

But now...now I cannot imagine being anywhere else. I am happier than I've been in a very long time. I can quite honestly say that I love it here. That I love my life, for the most part, love where I am & even love school (most days). ;o)

Okay...so He is quite able to work beyond the all-too-human limits of my imagination...

If expectation was the goal for 2008 & granted it spilled right over into 2009, what is the goal for the rest of 2009 / 2010? Believe far beyond what I can imagine? Expect what is beyond my own expectations? Or perhaps simply just come to a peaceful place of belief.

Just a thought.

-Lisa