Provision

This is a blog I've been meaning to write for a long time, but I couldn't find the title until today.

Those who know me know that from Fall of 2013 to Fall of 2014 (almost a year to date) I was unemployed.  I was not surprised when the layoff came to me in 2013.  I'd known it was coming for some time.  What I didn't know then was what else was coming.

To make a long and somewhat depressing story short, the unemployment ran out and so did my savings.  I applied to countless jobs, went on a number of interviews including some that I thought went very well, but nothing turned up.  Temp agencies kept saying things to me like "Oh we can find you something, no problem."  Then there would be nothing.

I started to feel like a failure and I was so concerned about how to pay bills as I watched the numbers in my bank account dwindle.

My Mom, who is my biggest cheerleader, happened to be in a terrible financial situation at the same time and we struggled greatly during this time.

I'd been building my trust in God for a number of years.  Working on the kind of faith that was less about what specific church I went to and more about relying on Him, trusting Him.  Trust is a really hard thing.  Like crazy hard.  Especially if you're not all that good at it to begin with, but it's worth learning.

Anyway, as I spent more time in prayer, attempting to heed my Mom's advice to offer a sacrifice of praise throughout the situation I was in, even though I wasn't sure where the groceries were going to come from, something amazing started to happen.  Friends and family both at different times, and with no prompting, handed me money.  Some in the form of a gift and some in the form of a loan.  Gift cards for the grocery store or Target were such a welcome sight.

It was a hard situation to go through.  Some might call it a test.  All I know is that now I can look back on it and say that I learned something about faith and about trust during that time.  Trust doesn't mean you're happy all of the time or that you never lose you cool over a situation.  It means that in the midst of the tears, you can whisper "I trust you" and know in your heart that you actually mean it.

Just a thought.

Confirmation

When we're seeking God's guidance, sometimes we ask for confirmations.  Well, at least I know I do.  It's one of those things I think, as a human, that when you're inching toward a limb, you want to know that you should walk out onto it before you actually do.

However, sometimes confirmation comes in the form of an ouch.  Especially if you've ignored a previous urging that was placed in your spirit.  Then not only can confirmations be uncomfortable, so can the promptings to move forward.

I know I have been known to get comfortable in a situation that I knew was only supposed to be temporary.  And when that happens it takes a certain level of discomfort to propel me forward.  And I do believe that we have seasons in our lives and that things happen the way they do for a reason.  But change is part of growth and really just part of life.  Change is good.  Resisting change and clinging to what we've become familiar with can be detrimental.

But back to confirmation...

Sometimes we ask for confirmation and in our minds what we mean is we want like some awesome thing to happen and that can be our confirmation.  Confirmations don't always appear like that - sometimes they hurt.  Maybe because it's unexpected?  I'm not sure.

Slightly painful or not, I think it is important (once your emotions die down - and make no mistake, that can take some time) to take a deep breath and just say "Okay God.  I knew this is what you were telling me and you have confirmed it for me.  Thank you."

Just a thought.

-Lisa

Time for Some Action

I've been thinking a lot about the future and the past lately.  The pastor at the church I attend did a sermon last week talking about second chances, but in the bigger scheme of life.  He also talked a lot about taking action instead of only praying about things and waiting for a tangible, obvious answer.

It is most definitely good to pray over something and to take time to think things through, but it is also important to take actions.  And to take risks.

In my own life, I am realizing that sometimes in order to just cope with the current reality, I find myself putting a band-aid (if you will) on a problem that essentially needs a more drastic course of action.  I also know I'm  not alone in this predicament.

Today I was talking with a friend about how sometimes you have to just do something entirely different than whatever it is you've been trying.  And while I have many moments where I wish I could pull up Google and ask it what to do next, I realize that I can't no matter how much I'd like to - I simply need to try something different.

Sometimes I think God leads us down a very non-traditional path to where we are heading so that we not only learn to trust, but so that we can actually see that all of our self-doubt has no foundation whatsoever.  That we really can be or do so much more than we could ever dream or imagine.

Just a thought.

-Lisa

When Tweets Make You Think

I follow a lot of people on Twitter. Some I know & some I don't - and a lot of them to keep up with what's happening in the industry. Still there are some people who I've just grown to love what they have to say.

Pauley Perrette, who plays Abby on the CBS show NCIS (very good show!), is someone I just started following on Twitter and she shared something really interesting yesterday. One of her tweets said "At church we wrote what we want to be forgiven for or who we need to forgive We all pray over cards. Forgiveness: God's best Gift." I immediately thought that was such a cool concept and it made me think a lot about forgiveness.

I know from my own experiences that forgiveness is not a quick process. Sometimes it takes years to really complete the process. I think so often we think forgiveness is a one step action. But I think it's a process that begins with you first being willing to start to let go of something that happened in spite of the fact that it hurt you. That's tough. It just is. And I think it's okay that it's tough.

But I also think it's vital to not only having a more peaceful world, but to having peace within yourself. I know growing up in church I was taught that we were to forgive the way God forgives us. Well....God is perfect so He (I believe) can complete the forgiveness process instantly. Humans are not so good at that - of course I wasn't taught that part - just that you're supposed to forgive. I thought it was a quick thing.

The other thing church didn't teach me (but thankfully my Mom did) was that forgiveness isn't really for the other person - it's for you. Allowing anger, resentment or bitterness to live within your spirit / heart / body can make you really sick - mentally, spiritually and physically. And it can suppress the light within you keeping you from radiating joy or love.

Forgiveness really frees you to open yourself up to love & peace & joy. It allows you to say you yes someone hurt you, but you are strong enough to move beyond that hurt and love them anyway. I loved the idea that Pauley tweeted about praying over the cards because I think it's really hard to stay bitter or angry toward someone when you pray for them.

Just a thought.

-Lisa

*Check out http://twitter.com/PauleyP to see Pauley Perrette's Twitter.