New Day

October has long been my second favorite month (after April), but this one is off to a bit of a different start as I find myself in a time of transition.

I was laid off from my job last month and thus far, while I've had some strong leads, I haven't discovered that next step in my career.  However, I have been surprised by the level of ... relief I have experienced in the past few weeks.  Every human fiber of my being has known this is a very odd reaction to losing my main source of income, but my spirit, for the most part, has remained still.

This morning I opened my devotional and found the message to the left.  I strive to have the kind of response to obstacles that the message describes, frequently falling short, but I think maybe, just maybe this could explain the stillness in my spirit.  It's having that sense of peace that defies all logic so that you know it has to come from God.

Let me tell you what that peace does not look like.  It does not look like someone who never feels overwhelmed, who is always smiling and happy or someone who never cries.  There may be people who are able to pull that off, but I am not one of them.  I believe God created us to feel and while we must take responsibility for our emotions and for the reactions we allow to stem from those, I cannot imagine He ever intended us to bottle them up and pretend to be happy.

I don't know about you, but I tend to be somewhat suspicious of people who are always smiley and happy.  Maybe that's the cynicism of my generation talking, but rarely have I encountered someone who is that way and simply seems at peace (and there's a big difference in someone who has joy and peace and someone who is wearing a happy mask).

At least in my life, peace that passes all understanding, frequently looks more like calm, still waters.  It's almost more of a vibe you can feel coming off of someone than a certain way they present themselves.  Also, it looks like optimism.  For me, choosing to see this closed door as an opportunity rather than an obstacle reaffirms that sense of peace.

Peace that comes from God does not void out all of the problems in your life.  Instead it alters the way you react to them.  While I believe that human reaction to panic or be upset is still there, I also believe those moments shortened the more we pause, take a deep breath and whisper "I trust you Jesus".  Eventually, "I trust you" will replace that knee-jerk reaction of panic in our minds.  And with that comes peace.

So, where does the road ahead lead?  I have no idea.  But I'm kind of excited to see what the coming days bring.  I would have never imagined myself in the place I've been the past two years, but it's been a major learning experience and that is never a bad thing.

Just a thought...

-Lisa

Something Beautiful

I've experienced a kind of re-birth of hope lately.  And one that I have to believe has come from God because all of the outside signs point to the exact opposite.

My favorite verse is one that I've leaned on a lot over the past couple of years especially - Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."  Perhaps it's learning to lean on that trust that actually has helped with the peace I have.

But there's another verse I love - Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." and this verse has simultaneously given me peace and made me furrow my brow more than once.

The first time I heard this verse, or rather the first time it registered with me what it really said all I could think was really God? cause I can imagine an awful lot.  And I have admittedly had moments particularly over the last couple of years where that question changed to are you really sure? cause I'm not sure what to imagine anymore.

But lately, somehow, things have shifted and I have what I can only describe as a sense of possibility again. And that is beautiful.

Perhaps God brings us down rocky paths knowing we're going to ask those questions and knowing also that if we hang onto Him, we'll arrive at a place where peace comes from the one thing we need most at that time.

Just a thought.

-Lisa

Just a Feeling

I was driving home tonight switching between the iPod and the radio and I heard this song...

I've heard it a couple of times and it always gets me - to the extent that I frequently switch the station when it's on, but I like the song...

Over the past few years, off and on, I've had this feeling that was hard to define and incredibly hard to shake at the same time. As a Christian I felt confused by it because if I was truly a believer, could I be feeling like this? So to have had the radio on a Christian station and run across this song - for me anyway - answered that yes, absolutely you can feel like this. Everyone feels like this sometimes.

Whether it's just life, a specific set of circumstances, or a series of events that all came too quickly together I'm fairly certain we've all felt this way. Tired. Invisible. Lost. Alone.

I can say with almost absolute certainty that most of the people I know - regardless of what they think or believe - have felt this way. And knowing that it's okay (even as a Christian in my case) to admit that I've felt like this somehow provides a release. It's like being heard.

If you're feeling this way now. Or if you've felt this way before. I hope these words bless your life exactly where you are.

The song is "Someone Worth Dying For" by MIKESCHAIR.

-Lisa

SOMEONE WORTH DYING FOR
Artist: MIKESCHAIR.
Album: A Beautiful Life

You might be the wife waiting up at night
You might be the man struggling to provide
Feeling like it’s hopeless

Maybe you’re the son who chose a broken road
Maybe you’re the girl thinking you’ll end up alone
Praying “God, can you hear me?
Oh God, are you listening?”

Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I wanna believe, I wanna believe that
I’m not just some wandering soul
That you don’t see and you don’t know
Yeah, I wanna believe,
Jesus, help me believe that
I am someone worth dying for

I know you’ve heard the truth that God has set you free
But you think you’re the one that grace could never reach
So you just keep askin’, oh, what everybody’s askin’

Chorus

You’re worth it, you can’t earn it
Yeah, the cross has proven
That you’re sacred and blameless
Your life has purpose

You are more than flesh and bone
Can’t you see you’re something beautiful
Yeah, you gotta believe, you gotta believe
He wants you to see, He wants you to see that
You’re not just some wandering soul
That can’t be seen and can’t be known
Yeah, you gotta believe, you gotta believe that
You are someone worth dying for
You’re someone worth dying for
You’re someone worth dying for

10 Years

This evening I was watching TV and I was watching a show that was a look back at the Cosby Show - totally flashing back to my childhood. After it a show called When Pop Culture Saved America - about the work of the entertainment industry in the aftermath of 9/11. And I was struck with a mini-realization that perhaps (sometimes) the future I long for in my head...my "someday" if you will...is really the world "before" as opposed to the "after" world in which we live.

Ten years ago I was in undergrad at UNT and I was sitting in my apartment with my cousin Susan trying to wrap my brain around what had happened. The strangest thing to me that week was how it seemed life was supposed to go on. But it did.

At the time I thought the world was ending and I couldn't imagine a year from that day - much less 10 years from that day.

On this, the 10 year mark, I find that my thoughts are heavy with the weight of how the families who lost loved ones are doing this day. How life has inevitably gone on for them, but how also they must still ache for those they lost. And my prayers are with them.

Love & Peace

-Lisa

When Tweets Make You Think

I follow a lot of people on Twitter. Some I know & some I don't - and a lot of them to keep up with what's happening in the industry. Still there are some people who I've just grown to love what they have to say.

Pauley Perrette, who plays Abby on the CBS show NCIS (very good show!), is someone I just started following on Twitter and she shared something really interesting yesterday. One of her tweets said "At church we wrote what we want to be forgiven for or who we need to forgive We all pray over cards. Forgiveness: God's best Gift." I immediately thought that was such a cool concept and it made me think a lot about forgiveness.

I know from my own experiences that forgiveness is not a quick process. Sometimes it takes years to really complete the process. I think so often we think forgiveness is a one step action. But I think it's a process that begins with you first being willing to start to let go of something that happened in spite of the fact that it hurt you. That's tough. It just is. And I think it's okay that it's tough.

But I also think it's vital to not only having a more peaceful world, but to having peace within yourself. I know growing up in church I was taught that we were to forgive the way God forgives us. Well....God is perfect so He (I believe) can complete the forgiveness process instantly. Humans are not so good at that - of course I wasn't taught that part - just that you're supposed to forgive. I thought it was a quick thing.

The other thing church didn't teach me (but thankfully my Mom did) was that forgiveness isn't really for the other person - it's for you. Allowing anger, resentment or bitterness to live within your spirit / heart / body can make you really sick - mentally, spiritually and physically. And it can suppress the light within you keeping you from radiating joy or love.

Forgiveness really frees you to open yourself up to love & peace & joy. It allows you to say you yes someone hurt you, but you are strong enough to move beyond that hurt and love them anyway. I loved the idea that Pauley tweeted about praying over the cards because I think it's really hard to stay bitter or angry toward someone when you pray for them.

Just a thought.

-Lisa

*Check out http://twitter.com/PauleyP to see Pauley Perrette's Twitter.