Sunday, January 24, 2010

Blessed Assurance

Ever notice that doubts kind of creep up on you when you're really busy or pretty stressed about other things and all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a meltdown and you aren't quite sure how you got there?

I've been grappling with a little of that lately. Just about different things. What ifs and why nots I call them. I really figured this was brought on largely by the start of my last semester in grad school and the impending job search.

And actually, I thought I'd just about sorted everything out. I was feeling much better about things or at least I wasn't feeling noticeably "blue". Still...there was that little kind of "eh" feeling that I couldn't quite put my finger on that just didn't feel right.

I appear to be coming down with a slight cold so I stayed home today (all day) and dosed myself with Vitamin C & Zinc and otc meds. Since I'd decided to stay home I live-streamed this morning's message at the church I usually go to ( and watched.

The series they've been doing is called I Heart LA. Today's message was I Heart LA City of Creativity.

Somewhere in the midst of this message the "eh" feeling broke. I realized that as thankful as I am for being in LA and as much as I try to focus on the positive...somewhere deep in the back of my mind there's a little part of me that's waiting for it to disappear.

I'm not sure why that is and I haven't the energy or mental space at the moment to begin to analyze such things. But this morning's message reminded me that God put me where I am for a reason - regardless of the surrounding circumstances. And that is something I can rest assured in.

Funny how sometimes God can send you a message you didn't even know you needed.

Just a thought.