It's been just over a month since my grandmother passed away. She's been on my mind a lot lately - as has the entire concept of losing someone you love. She was very much like my second parent since it was always just the three of us (me, my mom & my grandmother).
Loss of this kind is different from anything I've experienced. It is deeper disrupting my sleep by keeping my spirit in a state of undefinable unrest. Yet it also sneaks up on me when I least expect it. When I'm enjoying a cup of coffee on a Saturday morning or trying on pretty dresses for an event later this week.
In a funny way she is always with me, but also so painfully far away. Sometimes it bothers me that I cannot simply drive to the cemetery and visit her (so to speak).
Everyone tells me it will simply take time and that I have to be patient with myself giving my spirit the time it needs to heal, allowing it to hurt when it does and to feel joy in other moments too. All without any extra thought.
Why am I sharing this on my blog? Well, loss is something everyone experiences sometime in their lives and it can be a strange and often lonely road to walk down. Sometimes it's just good to know you're not alone.
-Lisa
Hey Lisa,
ReplyDeleteYour post reminded me of my grandmother who passed away in 2005, after being paralyzed and bed-ridden for five painful years. But when I remember her, I think of her as the incredibly active person she used to be before her illness--how she did groceries on her own, prepped vegetables for cooking, the incredible needlework she did, and of course, the wonderful stories she told us, when we were kids. Just like you feel your granny is with you all the time, my sister and I feel her presence around us all the time. I believe she is happy wherever she is--free from the pain she was suffering. You will also get over your loss with time.