I should preface this blog post with a warning that I'm about to go full on theater geek on you lovely people.
A strange thing happened tonight when I was at The Pavilion seeing Idina Menzel in concert. I was sitting there listening to this amazingly talented human sing her face off, and I realized something.
The last time I saw her was when I was still living in LA. My grandmother had passed away about 5 months before and I was going through a rough time dealing with that and some other things in my life. On a whim (or a moment of complete insanity considering I was not gainfully employed at the time), I'd hopped online and purchased a single ticket to her concert because I just needed to go. I don't know if you're a music person, or a theater person for that matter, but if you are, you understand what I mean by "I just needed to go." There was a part of my soul I'd been neglecting for a long time by then and I didn't even realize how much. After that show, I returned to my apartment realizing I'd forgotten how much I loved going to a theater and watching someone perform like that — there's just something different about theater people. I can't explain how, but going to that concert filled up the same part of my soul that going to see musicals always had — a part of my soul that I'd let run completely dry years before. I realized I could not let that happen again.
Tonight I realized that I actually reopened a door to possibility that night, one that I'd slammed shut years before and I can't help but wonder if I hadn't done that, if I hadn't gone to that show and had that experience, would I have ended up in the place I am now. A place where I get to run around and (as my cousin puts it) go "YAY THEATER!" and call it "work"?
I know it sounds strange, and it probably makes absolutely no sense to anyone who's not me, but tonight felt a bit like coming full circle.
It's now been 5 years since my grandmother passed. Life is much better in some very unexpected ways. I'm not in LA anymore, which is not my favorite thing, but one must attempt to thrive where one is, yes?
And perhaps the best thing was I got to take one of my best friends to see tonight's show for her birthday (and she'd never seen Idina in concert before). We had a blast singing along, geeking out over showtunes and feeling really, really old when Idina said it's been almost 20 years since Rent opened (my friend and I were adorable little high school drama geeks then and Rent was the coolest thing on the planet).
I cried when she sang Brave (it's from an album that I listened to repeatedly on my flight home when my grandmother was sick and I just needed to distract myself) and when she sang For Good. I snuck a quick video of part of Let it Go for my niece. I clapped and yelled/made-really-high-pitched-loud-noise far too much and my voice shows it now. Mostly, I had an amazing night filled with some good old memories and making some beautiful new ones.
I am so thankful that I got to see her perform tonight & I already can't wait 'til the next time.
Had to share.