Provision

This is a blog I've been meaning to write for a long time, but I couldn't find the title until today.

Those who know me know that from Fall of 2013 to Fall of 2014 (almost a year to date) I was unemployed.  I was not surprised when the layoff came to me in 2013.  I'd known it was coming for some time.  What I didn't know then was what else was coming.

To make a long and somewhat depressing story short, the unemployment ran out and so did my savings.  I applied to countless jobs, went on a number of interviews including some that I thought went very well, but nothing turned up.  Temp agencies kept saying things to me like "Oh we can find you something, no problem."  Then there would be nothing.

I started to feel like a failure and I was so concerned about how to pay bills as I watched the numbers in my bank account dwindle.

My Mom, who is my biggest cheerleader, happened to be in a terrible financial situation at the same time and we struggled greatly during this time.

I'd been building my trust in God for a number of years.  Working on the kind of faith that was less about what specific church I went to and more about relying on Him, trusting Him.  Trust is a really hard thing.  Like crazy hard.  Especially if you're not all that good at it to begin with, but it's worth learning.

Anyway, as I spent more time in prayer, attempting to heed my Mom's advice to offer a sacrifice of praise throughout the situation I was in, even though I wasn't sure where the groceries were going to come from, something amazing started to happen.  Friends and family both at different times, and with no prompting, handed me money.  Some in the form of a gift and some in the form of a loan.  Gift cards for the grocery store or Target were such a welcome sight.

It was a hard situation to go through.  Some might call it a test.  All I know is that now I can look back on it and say that I learned something about faith and about trust during that time.  Trust doesn't mean you're happy all of the time or that you never lose you cool over a situation.  It means that in the midst of the tears, you can whisper "I trust you" and know in your heart that you actually mean it.

Just a thought.